Allison,

The following story comes from John and Larissa of Henderson, Nevada...

Problem: “From the very beginning of our marriage, we fought about what kinds of gifts to give other people - specifically, how much to spend on those gifts. I (Larissa) love to give big, extravagant presents for weddings, birthdays, and other special occasions. To me, it’s a demonstration of my love. John has a different view. He thinks a little cash tucked into a card is fine (emphasis on the word little). We’ve had major battles over this issue!”

Solution: “For a while, we just split the difference. If I wanted to give a $50 gift and John thought $10 was more appropriate, we would meet halfway at $30. But I still felt we were being cheap and John thought we were being excessive. We both felt uneasy. Then we landed on an arrangement we’re both happy with. We increased the amount of spending money I am allowed each month, and I am totally responsible for gift-giving throughout the year. This provides me the freedom and flexibility to budget for all the gifts and buy whatever I want. I can go big on a wedding gift and smaller on a graduation present, if I choose. I can spend as I see fit, and John doesn’t have to worry about busting the budget.”

Quick Cents Application Points:

1. Have you established a budget for Christmas and other gifts? Why or why not?
2. What do you think about the solution provided in the example above? Where can you apply that concept to financial areas in your life?
3. Where can you apply this kind of solution to other aspects of your relationship where you currently disagree or have conflict?